Maybe Tonight
by Pissed Off Poet1
Summary: finished Someone in camp is having a rough night, and look who comes to the rescue. Please read and review. This is my first MASH fic.
1. I need him

(Standard disclaimers apply. The song I am using doesn't belong to me, I am just borrowing it. This is my first M*A*S*H fan fic, so please be nice when reviewing. And on that note, PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!!!!)  
  
I cried tonight. Alone in my tent, some time in the early morning, I cried. I could have blamed it on the war, or the men that were dying all around me. I could have blamed it on the food, or the three days of rain that show no sign of stopping, or the shells being dropped so close to us, but I couldn't; because that wasn't it. The simple fact is that I was tired. I was just so tired of being alone. I just didn't want to be that way anymore. Ever since Donald and I divorced, I thought the problem was me.  
  
Just that simple fact that I was so tried of being alone, was keeping me up nights. I couldn't explain it, but every time I closed my eyes and saw everything I ever wanted. And then just like that it got taken away. So after weeks of that single nightmare, I just decided to stop sleeping all together.  
  
They asked about it. I knew they would. I lied and said was getting sleep, and just blamed it on the number of causalities we have been getting lately. But I didn't let this one little thing get in the way of my job. I was still as good as ever in the OR, but they still worried.  
  
Colonel Potter was nice enough to give me some time in Tokyo, and I went just to get them to stop worrying. Charles offered to give me something to help me sleep, but I said no. I was too afraid. BJ and the father offered to listen, if I wanted to talk. But I said no. How would BJ understand? He is happily married. How could I talk to the father about it? I didn't even want to admit it to myself.  
  
Weeks passed, and I was still going on almost no sleep. I knew Colonel Potter was tempted to call Dr. Freedmen. Did I really look that bad? Klinger I knew was being nicer to me. I almost never had to yell him anymore; at least he didn't offer to listen to me if I wanted to talk. I knew my nurses and the other enlisted men were staying clear of me. I overheard them talking, that I could snap at anytime.  
  
So I did the only thing I could do. I cried. And that's how he found me. I could have yelled at him for not knocking, but the look in his eyes, relayed a different message. He didn't say a word, instead sat down next to me, and put his arms around me. I couldn't even begin to explain how good that felt, but I only cried harder.  
  
He gently laid me down, stretched out beside me, and wrapped me up tight in his embrace. But he didn't say anything. I laid my head on his chest, listening to his heart beat, and gradually stopped crying. He smelled good, like rain, which was obvious because it was raining outside. But with just a slight trace of gin. He drew lazy circles on back, while hugging me to him even tighter.  
  
The wind and rain howled outside, and the shells seemed to be hitting even closer, but he paid it no mind, just content on calming me down. I would never admit it to anyone, but I hated thunder storms. He already knew how afraid I was of the shelling. With the combination of them both in one night was overwhelming. I trembled in his arms.  
  
"Hawkeye," I whispered, almost begging him. He cleared his throat, and in a low voice, he sang to me.  
  
We've been friends for a long, long time  
  
You had your lover and I had mine  
  
One night I looked at you and I think we both knew  
  
Some night I'd hold you in my arms  
  
Maybe tonight, we'll find each other  
  
Maybe tonight, you'll turn around and I'll be there  
  
If the timing is right we could finally get together  
  
We might just fall in love and it may be tonight  
  
Two hearts on fire can't live like this  
  
A burning desire we can't resist  
  
Who's gonna break the ice  
  
Who's gonna roll the dice  
  
All it would take is just one kiss  
  
Maybe tonight, we'll find each other  
  
Maybe tonight, you'll turn around and I'll be there  
  
If the timing is right we could finally get together  
  
We might just fall in love and it may be tonight  
  
I was almost asleep when he finished, I was vaguely aware of him kissing my forehead. He smoothed back my hair, and laid his head on top of mine.  
  
"Maybe tonight, Margaret. Maybe tonight," he whispered. But I couldn't hear him. For the first time in over three weeks I slept. And this time, when I closed my eyes, I saw everything I ever wanted, and this time he didn't go away. Maybe he was right. It may be tonight. 


	2. That never ending rain

(Standard disclaimers apply, and no I didn't write the song, I wish =) Please send reviews! This is my first M*A*S*H fan fic.)  
  
It's raining again. Actually, it seems like the rain never stopped. Hawkeye left early this morning before I awoke, and even though I wished he would have stayed, I'm glad he went. He knows I don't like anyone going into my personal business, and I know if someone saw him leaving my tent this morning, I would never hear the end of it. He did leave me a note though, one of the most touching notes anyone has ever givin me.  
  
Dearest Margaret,  
  
I'm so sorry I left you this morning, I wanted to stay and make sure that you were really okay after last night, but I do know you need some space. But please tell me if you need another night like last night, or even better just someone to talk to. I'll see you at breakfast.  
  
Yours always  
  
Ben  
  
Noticing the time, I was surprised that it was actually lunch time. Not believing how long I slept, I quickly dressed, and headed to the mess tent, actually hungry for the first time in weeks, but the sight of what Igor was serving, made me not so hungry anymore. But I knew that I had to eat, if not for me then for everyone else, especially for him.  
  
Sitting down with BJ and Charles, I casually asked where Hawkeye was, hoping not to raise too much suspicion.  
  
"I traded shifts with Hawkeye, he said he had something he needed to take care of, what ever that means, and asked me if I would trade shifts."  
  
Whatever reaction I gave I hid by taking a sip of coffee.  
  
"He did come home awful early this morning, no doubt he spent the night in some closet with a nurse," Charles commented, and almost as if on cue, the announcement for incoming casualties, followed by the sound of choppers.  
  
We worked long into the evening, losing eight out of the 52 patients that we treated, two of them, Hawkeye tried to save, after that he kept mostly to himself, like I knew he would.  
  
Since he was in post-op following up on some patients, I missed him during dinner. I luckily had the night off, and headed back to my tent feeling utterly drained. Today was just one of those days, where I wished I just stayed in bed.  
  
I tried to sleep, I really did, but I knew it was useless. There was just too much that was on my mind; Hawkeye, those patients that we lost, the rain. And to top it all of, it was so cold the mines in our own minefield were exploding. More then anything else I wished Hawkeye were here with me. I know I'm not that kind of person that clings to someone like I did last night, but that somehow was different.  
  
I was just about to try to go to sleep, when Klinger knocked on my door with the mail. I sighed, not caring who wrote me, but nevertheless I took the letter, and Klinger beat a hasty retreat. And who was it from? Who else but my ex husband, just what I need to top of this perfect day.  
  
Dear Margaret,  
  
I know we both said some things that we didn't mean, and I know that we both regret now. I miss you Margaret, I miss you more then you will ever know. I know I cheated on you and I'm sorry. But you have to understand how lonely it gets when I'm away from you, surely you understand. I have heard many things about you and the infamous Frank Burns, from one of your nurses before she transferred out of your unit. I know you two were quite close before we met, and I know you understand how lonely he got being away from the people he loved. What I'm trying to say Margaret, is that I would like to give our relationship another chance. Never mind the women that I see on the side-  
  
I threw the letter down, I couldn't read anymore. I was trying to fight back the tears, but I couldn't. In anger I threw the letter into the stove and watched it burn, while the thunder outside roared on.  
  
After hours of crying, I could cry no more. But the hurt and the anger that I felt in my heart was still there. He betrayed me, and yet he wanted to get back together like nothing had even happened. I wrapped my arms tightly around knees and brought them up to my chest. Why was I always making the wrong choices in men?  
  
And that's when he opened my door. He silently took off his rain coat and sat down next to me on the bed. He didn't say a word, but wrapped his arms around me, knowing how much I needed him. And then I started crying again. Not just from the letter, or from the horrible day that we had, but crying because Donald, the man I thought I loved, took my heart and smashed it into a million pieces.  
  
He laid me down, and stretched out beside me, never breaking contact with me. He rubbed my back in slow lazy circles, and finally I started to calm down, breathing hard against his chest.  
  
"Hawkeye," I begged quietly, yearning for his soft baritone that I knew would lull me to a dreamless sleep.  
  
Another day has almost come and gone.  
  
Can't imagine what else could wrong.  
  
Sometimes I'd like to hide away somewhere and lock the door.  
  
A single battle lost but not the war  
  
It's almost like the hard times circle 'round.  
  
A couple drops and they all start coming down.  
  
'Cos tomorrow's another day,  
  
And I'm thirsty anyway,  
  
So bring on the rain  
  
Yeah, I might feel defeated,  
  
And I might hang my head.  
  
I might be barely breathing, but I'm not dead  
  
Tomorrow's another day,  
  
And I'm thirsty anyway,  
  
So bring on the rain  
  
No I'm not gonna let it get me down;  
  
I'm not gonna cry;  
  
So, bring on the rain  
  
I hugged him tighter to me, and sighed. Outside, the rain that has been going non stop for three days, finally stopped.  
  
(I don't know, should I end it here? The more reviews I get, the better you chances are of me posting again) 


	3. Angle of Mercy

(Sorry for the major delay, standard disclaimers apply, and the song I am using doesn't belong to me. But it is an actual song from the fifties. Please read and review!)  
It's been a rough couple of days for the camp. Moral was down, and it was as cold and wet as ever. So Colonel Potter in his infinite wisdom allowed us a few days of leave each, starting with the enlisted men. I was grateful for the few days I was going to get, but more grateful that Margaret would be getting some well deserved time off too.  
  
After a few weeks, it was finally the officers turn, and so two by two we went. I laugh at the thought of the look on BJ and Charles's face when they got stuck together for the weekend. And since the padre would be helping out with the orphans, that left Margaret and me. Of course I had to make some remark which she promptly replied with some snide comment of her own, but I knew she was okay with the idea of us spending our leave together, with separate hotel rooms of course, but that could easily be fixed.  
  
While Charles and BJ were gone, we were greeted in the middle of the night by six causalities. The three most critical patients didn't make it through the night, and for some reason Margaret blamed herself. She was the on call nurse in post-op, and when the three patients arrested at the same time, she couldn't get help in time to save them. Colonel Potter gave her the rest of the night off after that, and she came right to my tent, and cried in my arms. Under any other circumstance, I would have welcomed the affection she was showing, but not tonight. She didn't need a lover, not that we were but it has been on mind lately, she needed her best friend, and for tonight, that's what I was going to be.  
  
After her tears stopped I could tell she was trying to sleep, and I knew what I had to do. Something I had been doing so many other countless nights; I sang to her.  
  
" Angel of mercy you don't need no golden wing  
  
Angel of mercy you don't need no golden wing  
  
The way you came to my rescue  
  
Heaven must be watchin' over me  
  
When the shadows fallin' and the day turns into night  
  
I hear my angel callin' and I can't wait to see the light  
  
Angel of mercy you don't need no golden wing  
  
The way you came down to my rescue  
  
Heaven must be watchin' over me  
  
Sometimes I get a feelin' like a fever comin' over me  
  
Just a touch of my angels hand and I'm right back on my feet  
  
Angel of mercy you don't need no golden wing  
  
The way you came down to my rescue  
  
Heaven must be watchin' over me  
  
Stay with me baby. Come down from the sky  
  
Just like an angel. Take me to paradise  
  
Angel of mercy you don't need no golden wing  
  
The way you came down to my rescue  
  
Heaven must be watchin' over me  
  
I could tell she still wasn't asleep, but before I could say anything, she brought her lips to mine for a quick but sweet kiss.  
  
"Thank you Hawkeye, thank you for being with me," she said while hugging herself tighter to me.  
  
"Anything for you Margaret, anything;" I whispered in her ear.  
  
And as she finally drifted off to sleep, it hit me just how much I meant it. Just how much she meant to me.  
  
TBC  
  
PLEASE READ AND REVIEW 


	4. Survivors

(A/N: So so so so sorry for the long wait, but this fic is finally done. Standard disclaimers apply. The song is by Colin Rays. Please take the time to review.)1

When BJ and Charles finally got back from their RR, Hawkeye and I finally set off for some much needed time for ourselves. We were hopefully going to figure out just exactly where we were as friends, and as a couple.

But a hail of gun fire stopped us from ever getting to Soul. We took shelter in an old abandon hut that looked as if though someone had just recently lived in it. Although we were worried about someone coming back and finding us here, we knew we had no choice but to stay.

"You know it's no that bad," he said holding me closer to him as we sat huddled on the floor.

He was right, I knew, but I didn't say as much. He knew how I felt about this, seeing as how we been in this situation before. Smiling I knew that this was going to be the last time I let him drive.

"What's so funny," he asked a smiling as well.

"I'm just thinking that this is the last time I let you drive."

He laughs, but it's quiet so as not to let anyone know that we are here.

"Come on Margaret my driving isn't that bad," he said.

The shelling and gunfire gets louder outside, shaking madly now, he leans in closer to me and started to sing.

_You've been my best friend all these years  
You've kept holding on to me through all the trials and the tears  
Only you and I could know all the sacrifices  
That let this feeling grow  
There were so many times we could have said goodbye  
We could have called it quits but honey you and I_

I think back to all of those times that Hawkeye and I fought all of the years. There were just so many wasted years that neither of us could let go of our differences to see who the other really was. But then the war isn't exactly a good place to be starting a relationship. I was living proof of that.

_We're survivors we made through the storm  
When I've needed shelter I've found it in your arms  
Survivors in love enough to fight  
Together in this thing for life_

But we did, we did make it through those first awkward years and now finally found a comfortable place where we can just be ourselves, and maybe even explore something new. Resting my head on his shoulder, I let his soft voice take me to a place where it was just me and him.

_There were times I lost my mind  
Took some wrong turns you got me back in line  
There were times you lost control  
But I stood by you I loved you heart and soul _

_When faith was tested and dreams were fading fast  
We held each other close until the rain had passed_

I nearly laughed at how true his words were, and how a place like this just made relationships all the worse to hold. But thinking about it, I think that maybe, we would have a good chance of having something real, something that would last.

_We're survivors we made through the storm  
When I've needed shelter I've found it in your arms  
Survivors in love enough to fight  
Together in this thing for life_

For life, does he really mean that?

_A little time and tenderness  
Has seen us through the years  
We'll still be side by side  
When the final smoke has cleared_

Long after the gunfire had stopped we made our way back out into the world again, relieved to find our jeep in one piece.

And making it to the hotel, and getting the same room, I finally asked Hawkeye where this was going. He gathered me close in his arms, and rocking me back and forth, started, again, to sing.

_We're survivors we made through the storm  
When I've needed shelter I've found it in your arms  
Survivors in love enough to fight  
Together in this thing for life  
Together in this thing for life_

By the time he was finished, we were both crying, but no words needed to be said. The song had said it all.

End

Please review.


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